Christmas can be such a joyful time. We’re often kinder and more generous during the festive season than at any other time; we give to charity, spoil our family and friends with gifts, and look out for our older neighbours. But what about the family conflicts, loneliness, getting into debt, overeating and drinking, exhaustion and other stresses that often form part of its emotional jigsaw. It’s no surprise that many of us feel relieved once the festivities are over.
It might help to remember that the date of Christmas Day was influenced by the timing of the Winter Solstice – the shortest day of the year – when the ‘sun stands still’ (the Latin meaning of solstice) and the days start lengthening. Falling just a few days before Christmas, the Solstice offers us a time to pause and give ourselves space to:
- reflect on what truly matters to us
- honour balance (between darkness and light)
- nurture our own inner light
Take a moment to consider these in relation to your Christmas plans this year. What do you notice? What feels most important to you about the holiday season? Where is the balance in how you approach giving, feasting, socialising and extra activities? And how can you nurture yourself – or be kind to yourself – through it all?
Being kind to yourself means knowing your emotional, financial, social and physical boundaries, and having the confidence to uphold them without guilt or shame. During the festive season, this might look like:
- Setting a realistic budget and avoiding the pressure to overspend or go into debt
- Carving out time for rest and relaxation amid the celebrations
- Saying no when you know that saying yes will leave you feeling out of balance
Our ability to be kind to ourselves often depends on how clearly we understand and protect our own boundaries. It’s an act of self-respect. If this is something that you struggle with and you are often left feeling frazzled and overwhelmed even when it’s not Christmas, therapy might help you. I offer creative, mind-body connected therapy in the woods of North Uckfield where I support my clients to make the changes they’re seeking, and heal from difficult past and present experiences.
For now, I wish you a calm and self-kind Christmas!