Parenting is the hardest job in the world!
We all set out on the parenting journey with the best of intentions and hoping for a harmonious and joyful experience of parenting. Often the only guidance we receive on how to parent is our own experience of being parented. Sometimes, this leads us to know exactly how we don’t want to parent; but that doesn’t mean automatically that we know what we need to do to be the parents we want to be. Or that, in practice, it works out the way we want it to. The reality is that all children are different, our relationships with them are different and even within a family, the temperaments of children and their experiences of life can differ widely.
Some of the challenging behaviours you may recognise in your child/ren include:
- anxiety and panic
- emotional outbursts (anger, sadness) and being hard to soothe
- being rude, unkind and selfish
- whingeing and complaining; they never seem satisfied
- refusing to accept your support or care
- constant bickering and conflict with siblings
- defiance and obstinacy
- poor sleep including struggling to get to sleep
- struggling with boundaries and family rules
When these behaviours dominate home life, parents can end up exhausted, frustrated and struggling to find the positive in being a parent. If the problem seems to sit with just one child, perhaps you might even admit to not liking your child sometimes. If this is you, I expect you are feeling unhappy and helpless, and everyone in the family is miserable and tetchy.
Perhaps you have read the books and understand the problem, and know exactly what you need to do, but you can’t make it work in the moment. Perhaps you simply can’t fathom what the problem is and so have no hope of finding and implementing a solution. Or perhaps you and your partner have different views on how to manage your challenging child.
What I can offer you
If this is happening in your family, you might want to consider getting in some external help.
I have worked with many parents to help them reframe what is happening in their families, and—with guidance—explore strategies that help create a more harmonious and fulfilling experience of parenting. I have delivered this support in my private practice and through my work as Associate Therapist and Clinical Supervisor at Beacon House Trauma Services.
I help parents to think through what is happening in the family, what is going wrong and what needs attention and perhaps a new way of thinking. They usually come out of the process feeling much more confident about their parenting skills with a better understanding of how to achieve calm and harmony at home and enjoy their relationship with their child/ren.
Monthly support group
I run a monthly walking group in Uckfield for parents and carers supporting children with anxiety. It takes place on the first Tuesday of the month from 1pm to 2.30pm. We walk at a leisurely pace and it offers parents the chance to:
- rest and recuperate
- share their experiences and feel heard and understood – without judgement
- learn how to help their child/ren gain greater emotional resilience to deal with the ups and downs of life
- gain more confidence in their parenting skills
If you are interested in joining the group, please contact me for more information.